Writing your own Vows

You want your wedding planning to be as less stressful than it can be, and finding new inspiration for your wedding vows is one of them. 

During your relationship, you will face experiences as a couple that can inspire material for your vows. You just need to start somewhere… Here are tips on how to find that inspiration…

Keep a journal and make entries as and when you think of them. Don’t feel like you have to write only about your relationship. Write about whatever is on your mind.

Not only will this be a therapeutic exercise but loving observations about your partner will come up.

When those notes do make their way to your page, you may want to revisit them when it’s time to turn your thoughts into vows. 

No matter how much you love and adore your partner, being together requires work.

Think about what disagreements you have overcome and what you learnt about each other. 

Moments of growth are windows into who you two are as a couple and who you plan to become together.

You don’t have to relay aggy rows but lessons learnt makes for wonderful material for your wedding vows. 

Managing life day to day is constant.  When you get those moments of reflection make a list of what you have found to be most important moments in your relationship.

What do you miss that you used to do? 

What do you value more now than you did before? 

These questions will spark ideas and will allow you to centre your vows around themes that carry the most significance to you. 

Go for 3-6 promises within your vows.

While it’s fun to include one or two playful and more humorous promises, write promises that focus on ideas that will be achievable throughout your entire marriage.

Reflect on how your partner supports you then consider how you can turn these themes into promises for how you’d like to mirror those actions for them. 

For example, if they have supported you by listening to your worries, you might write a promise like this: I promise to listen to you always…your dreams, your fears, your worries, or just your unspoken tears.

These days we have all experienced a level of fear of being sick (with covid) or been poorly.

This does add a whole new perspective on the traditional “in sickness and in health” line and what it means to be there for each other when you’re sick. 

How can your experience and this new perspective shape your vows? 

Date nights are difficult to make happen when day to day life is busy. Turn this wedding task into a romantic night in and plan your vows written at the same time. 

Schedule the night, plan to have some scrummy food and drinks ready, and play some fave tunes. 

Spend dinner talking about your relationship and what you admire about each other.

Then afterward, start writing.

Your mind will be fresh with ideas from your conversation. And you’ll have made a wedding planning task feel a bit more romantic during a time when so much of the planning has felt extra stressful and hard. 

Reflect on the ways you’ve been enjoying each other’s company during your relationship.

Are you going on daily evening walks?

Do you have a new cooking routine?

Have you taken up a new hobby together?  

Next, think about how these activities and moments of quality time have brought you closer together. What do you value about this time? What have you learned through it?

Use these reflections as material to inspire your vows. 

What about this person has led you to promise forever?

When did you realise you were in love?

What do you miss when you’re not around each other?

Maybe writing isn’t your thing – send yourself voice notes! Talking out loud and sharing your ideas and each of things you love about this person can make it easier to get your thoughts together, find a theme and focus in on a few items that really stand out.

Don’t worry about saying every little thing, if you were to do that your ceremony would go on forever!

Think about your goals, aspirations and future.

Will your love help you through the home DIY plans? 

How will your love set the tone for the way you raise your family (if you want or have one)?

What are you looking forward to sharing with this special person.

“As long as we both shall live.” 

End your vows with one last promise, the promise of forever, for eternity.